Cold Showers and Chibis
by Kittenz Koni
Summary: The day to day lives of Cloud and Leon. As well as their twin boys Sora and Roxas. How can an Ex-SOLDIER suvrive the trials of parenthood? Read to find out. Please Read and Review. Implys Cleon aka yaoi. no like no read ok?
1. Welcome Home

Ello Ello Ello all welcome to my first ever non smutt based story. I Know Shocker please enjoy Read and review i already have chapter 2 in the works. ps HINTS YAOI AND I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS.

* * *

Cloud Strife walked in the door after another day at work. He walked into the living room where his darling wife of six years and their five year old twin bundles of joy sat. Cloud hugged his wife over the couch and kissed him deeply. The children were near asleep watching a movie on TV. As the credits began to roll, Cloud looked from his kids to his wife, "Hey Leon, shouldn't Sora and Roxas be in bed by now?" Leon responds, "Your right Strife, and you..." Leon smelled the air and promptly held his nose, "And you go take a shower. God Cloud, what the hell did they have you doing out there?" "Fine, Fine Leon, I'll take a shower and you put them to bed." and with that said, Cloud was off to the shower. Leon looked at the floor, Sora was already asleep and Roxas was watching him intently. Picking up Sora, he says, " Ok, Roxy bed time."

The blond haired, sapphire blue eyed boy looked up at his 'mother', yawned, and followed him down the hall to his and his brown haired sapphire blue eyed brother's room. His 'mother' laid down his brother, tucked him in, and kissed his forehead. Then he turned to Roxas, "Good night Roxy. Your daddy has the day off so let's make it extra special for him, ok?" Roxas nods in agreement. Leon tucks him in and says"G'night Roxas." Then he kissed the blond's forehead, turns on the night light, and retires to his own room for the night.

Leon walks into the master bedroom expecting to sleep only to find a now clean Cloud laying on the black satin sheets in only a towel."So much for sleeping." Our brown haired lover boy muttered under his breath. Cloud got up and walked over to Leon and slowly began to undress him. After removing his lover's shirt Cloud began to tease his nipples. Then there was a small knock on the door. "Daddy?" A light voice said from the other side of the door, "I had a bad dream."

Cloud looks to Leon "Leon, go put him back to bed." Leon fights back. "But he asked for you." Clould clearly didn't want to lose this battle. "But your better with the kids." "Well they hardly see you." Leon retorts back at the cement for hair-ed blond was clearly desperate says. "Well your more dressed." Then Cloud gestures to his towel apposed to Leon's leather pants. Leon grumbles as he gets up and gets the door. "Sorry Sora, daddy's asleep. But I'll tuck you in." And with that said, the brown haired little child walked with his 'mommy' back to his room. once the boy was tucked in, he kissed his forehead, and went back to his and his lover's room. Oh, Cloud was gonna pay for forcing him to get up in these damn leather pants which at the moment were at least two sizes too small.

Cloud was sitting up waiting for Leon and was he ready. The towel was gone and he was sitting there in all his glory. Then Cloud walked over and took pity on him and helped him remove the tortureous pants. Once Cloud was on top of his lover once more. You could hear an audible cry from the boy's room. Leon jumped up flinging Cloud's sorry ass to the floor and walked back in cradeling a little Sora. Somehow between Leon's exit and re-entrance, Cloud put some boxers on.

"Shhh. Sora, mommy's here your safe. Shhh." Leon cooed, trying to settle the brown haired ball of tears. Cloud takes the kid and asks. "Sora, Lil man, what's got you all torn up?" "I dreamed... I dreamed... that the mean... silver haired man... took mommy away... from daddy... and took roxy.. away from daddy... and then he hurt daddy..." This was said through sobs, which Sora broke into a new fit after the fact. "Listen Sora. No matter what Sephiroth does. He will never get mommy or Roxy or..." Cloud was going to contune but was cut off by a now smiling Sora. "Or me?" he asked Happily. "Or you champ." Cloud said smiling. (A/N Yes I am the master of torture I made Cloud Strife smile. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA.)

Sora turned his sapphire eyes to his fathers which were by far brighter due to things from his SOLDIER days. "Can I sleep with you and mommy tonight?" Such an innocent question from a youth, no? Cloud froze after all he and Leon were a little more then busy not even ten minutes ago. "Eh... well So..." "Ofcorse you can sweety." Leon butts in. Cloud gives Leon a glare but he ignored it. Taking Sora from Cloud, he laid down and cuddles his burnette son happily.

"Come on Lee. We were having so much fun." Cloud whispered into Leon's ear while spooning him. "Go away Cloud." is all his lover says. "But sweet heart..." He contuned to whine. "No Strife." Leon retorted. Cloud then felt the need to try one last tactic, "Squall, you know you want to." "And with that you just lost any hair of a chance you had SOLDIER boy." Leon said coldly. Flat out he hated the past he had under that name and thus changed it to start anew but Cloud, had found out and trys to use it to his advantage but it doesn't work as you can see.

Pouting, Cloud made his way to the bathroom and turned the shower on. He was so not looking forward to this but it was clear, Leon had made it official that there was to be no fun tonight. So taking off his boxers, Cloud held his breath and stepped under the freezing water. It cascaded down his back in waves. Through this torture he stood strong. But eventually he stepped out of the icy water and got dressed. "You have won this round but tomorrow is a new day." Cloud says glaring at the shower as he turns the water off and leaves the bathroom to go and cuddle with his wife.

* * *

Well this is Chapter 1, Chapter 2 will be Roxas's appearance. Hope you all enjoyed my story. Please Review Because I tried really hard at this one and want to know what you all think.

Kudos to my Bestie Kai for the idea

And Kudos to my other Bestie Derek For proof reading it.

AND Kudos To All my Readers and Reviewers

Kittenz Uzamaki out.


	2. Cooking Troubles

Hey all Kittenz here again. Sorry it took so long no insperation. Well i hope you all had a good summer. Please read & review. Anyway here's my Bestie Kai with the disclaimer.

Kai: Look She Don't Own Shit. Now this contains hints at yaoi and extreme Cloud torture. (evil cackle)

Cloud: Why do you hate your bug squisher Kai.

Me: Well before this gets out of hand on with the story it is in the first person view of Cloud Strife.

* * *

Looking back I wonder would things be diffrent knowing what I know now. If I knew we were never ment to be would I be able to change my own fate? I don't think I could because I was young then and I was trying to prove who I was. But oh how I wish I could for I do exist now why I may not know but here I stand with my own life and my own heart I intend to live it to what I can and hold my stance on this holy ground. Dispite all agenst me I shall try to go on with what I have planed. Not allowing those hateful people to win. For once the have won they have control of me and I can't allow that not now nore ever.

Looking out the window I seen to me what was a lovely site a light drizzle of rain with the sun peaking out from behind the clouds creating miniture rainbows among the falling water drops. Smiling I get up to start my day, which includes waking the man in my life and my two hellish wait wait I mean sweet and loving twin boys.

I opened the door of my bedroom only to be bombarded by said little boys. Luckly l managed to land on my butt only slightly hitting my head on the footboard. All my years in SOLDIER could never prepair me for the tortures of what I must handle now parenthood.

Two pairs of saphire blue eyes which rival my own, and they had a beg to them. _Oh please no don't let them beg cloud you fold to easly._Ii thought to myself. "Daddy," My chestnut brown haired son wined. His dirty blonde haired twin finished "We're hungry." _SHIT!_ is the first thing I thought _I can't wake Leon he'll have my head but I'm no cook well how hard can it be I just follow the directions right? RIGHT? _"Make us somethin daddy" The two young beg blue eyes shining,

"Ok kids lets go to the kitchen." I say getting to my feet. The kids were about to scream yay but, I turn and give them the age old shhh gesture which they egerly mimiced both to me and each other.

Once in the kitchen I set to finding my loves recipe book. Which seems it would be easy but the kitchen is his domain and is often not kept in a specific order. He knows where everything is but the rest of us are lost without a clue and no way to buy one. After searching for twenty minutes I have found the object of my quest. "Sora," I look to my brown haired son, "get daddy the flour ok?" Sora smiled ear to ear lightling his eyes up more then before, and ran to find where his 'mother' hid it for the week. I set to locating the other ingredents not an easy task. "Roxas, where does your mom keep the vanilla flavor?" He drops down onto all fours, makes me take 3 steps to my left and finds it in the couboard under the counter. _Why does he keep it there I mean really now, Wait, I'm not going to ask._

The first attempt I put too much salt. the next too much vanilla. the third was actually pretty good so I stuck with that one. Next was to cook them. "Ok now to cook them... oh great no no." I said looking at the stove it was gas and all I've ever used was eletric. I go to walk away and awake my love only to come across two pairs of stunningly beautiful begging pouty eyes. so being the sucker I am I turned back around and tried to cook. The first I wrote off as too high heat, the second was left on too long. By the fifth one my children were laughing at the fact that I've burnt all thus far. By attempt 15 my blonde son roxas piped up and commented, "Mommy never makeded em black before. Is it a daddy way of cooking?"

"No Roxy sweetheart, the fire was too high for as long as they were on the stove." All eyes in the room turned twards the hallway and saw none other then mommy dearest Squall Leonheart standing there. "Cloud step away from the stove and go open some damn windows it smells like smoke in here gaud." I pouted and stepped to the side as my lovely Squall took to fixing my mistakes.

Once I opened the windows and turned a fan on facing out to blow the smoke out. He made up a fresh batch of batter and called me over. "Cloud love, If you want to learn to cook properly get over here." Scared for my life I stepped to my wives side. He shows me what to do and before I know it I'm doin a fair job as to the fact that Leon is no longer pouting at my sorry attempts.

After breakfast we all sat and played on the Wii which Leon insisted we get. I think he's a videop game addict. Yet here he is getting his butt kicked by some blonde chick on Naruto Clash of Ninja Revolution Three. Then before this he was being todally owned by the terrible twins. "Hey Squall, you suck at this game," I'm only teasing but he doesn't really take it that way. "If your so tech savvy Strife, why don't you beat Deidara the blonde haired bitch for me." He looks at me, I take the controller. Without trying, and a ton of button mashing I todally own the chick. "There Le-Le she's dead." I smile at Leon and he glares at me with pure hate in his eyes. "I hate you." Is all he managed. The children who were watching In aw look at me and in stereo say, "Daddy that's a boy." _Like I'm suposted to know this I don't like this crap._ I still feel like an idoit thoe.

The rest of the day was simple and by the end the kids were out cold. Once they were put to bed Leon and I went to our room and popped in Silent Hill. Horror flicks were our vice and we rarely get the chance due to my work scedule and the kids.

Then Leon begins to kiss my neck lightly and slowly works his way to my lips. As our kisses became more intense he laid half-way on top of me. Shortly after we both lost our shirts and Leon was working on my pants the door opens slightly then closes. Leon looks at me, "What was that?" I respond, "It was probally the cat." "The cat can't open a door Cloud." My love was unconvinced. "But Le-Le we have left the door open a hair and the cat's walked in before." I explain. his retort was a simple 'Leon Responce' as we call them, a grunt of agnolagement. The blankets russled slightly and I reasured my love again, "I told you it was the cat" He again uses another 'Leon Responce' and leaves it at that.

Then you hear a soft voice we almost didn't hear it, "Mommys Iz had a bad dreams I'm gonna swleep, in heres wif you and daddy otay? Thank you" Some how he manages to squrm in between Leon's and my chests.

I tried to sturr up the mood again only for my love to say no. I try to presure him a tad and he replys, "Not with a child in the bed." "Why not?" I asked being the dumb male I am. He looks at me dumb founded, "Um... How about the fact that it's WRONG?" "Damn it Squall! I'm gone for a week on a job, and we can't even have a little fun?" I know I've just fucked up as to he looks at me and with fire in his eyes he mouths 'Fuck you Strife.' I know when I've lost so it's called suck up time. "I'm sorry love please forgive me." I have my bright saphire blue eyes show emotion for once, His smokey grey's look to meet mine they look tride and true. "Fuck you cloud I said goodnight"

He rolled over and held Roxas tight. So I walked into the bathroom turned on the cold, undressed and jumped right in. "Damn that's two nights in a row damn children."

* * *

Well that's all till chapter 3 How was it?

Please drop me a Review I'm very proud of this chapter.

Those who review will get a shout out in the next chapter.

So till next time

Kittenz Uzamaki out.


	3. Are you kidding me?

Welcome to chapter 3. I would like to thank my reviewers, anabel the lady shark, Kai-Chan94, iSky Bladefang, and ur friend hai.

As you know I own nothing but the game copies I have of FF7, 8, and KH. This hints Yaoi and supports Cloud torture. Please Read And Review. Past that Enjoy the story.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

My lover dearest had it in for me on this day. He left just before dawn on Fenrir MY bike and neglected to tell me or leave me a note saying anything of his where abouts or when to expect him home. So now it's 10 am and the boys are just now waking. Lucky for me Leon had breakfast made so all I had to was heat it up. I set to the task as the young ones came out to the kitchen. Once they ate I sent to getting them dressed. Not an easy task as Sora is a tad addicted to running around 'free as a Jay Bird'. So, this feat took me about 3 hours to complete.

Did I forget to mention, as if to add onto my torment, Leon also drafted me to babysit our neighbors' son Riku? As if on cue the doorbell rang signifying my doom via children. Leon, do you hate me that much? I'm too young to die!

"Coming!" I shouted, struggling over to the door with a squirming Sora still in my arms. God, what did this kid have? Some sort of secret sugar stash I wasn't aware of? Wouldn't surprise me... Damn you Leon! Couldn't you have at least warned me of what laid in store?

Setting him down I opened the door. Standing on the porch was a blue haired man slightly taller than myself and a child around my boys' size. "Hello," I said to the gent before me. "You must be Saix, so this little one must be Riku, correct?" Saix nodded. "Yes and you must be Cloud. Xemnas will be by around 8 to pick him up. Please watch him carefully; he likes to explore." With that he left, while I had to find a way to occupy three toddlers for seven hours... _Shit_.

Well I seen the children playing in the boys' room so I set to doing some household tasks which needed tending to. While I was cleaning the living room Sora asked me could they watch T.V. I seen no problem with that since I was finished in there anyway, so I put on some cartoons and went into the kitchen. I set to washing the dishes first. It went well until the last dish, luckily it was only a mug I had gotten from Tifa.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Meanwhile, the trio was sitting in the living room. Riku looked to his friends, the glint of uncovered discovery in his eyes. "Let go explore guys. Dis house is big dere's gotta be tesure hidden somepace and we culd di..disc.. discov. We culd finds it." Sora was first to jump at this opportunity with his friend. Roxas looked puzzled for a moment before he too joined Riku's Treasure Search Crew. They started in the boys' room. First searching Roxas's side then his twins. The search was fruitless in this room. "Daddy sometimes leaves his pants in the bafhroom maybe he left some treasure in dere." Sora commented grinning ear to ear his blue eyes lighting up brightly.

The chibi treasure train filed into the bathroom. As to show their luck Cloud's pants laid in the corner just besides the hamper. While rummaging through the pockets they discovered a box of white and orangeish sticks. Riku makes a sour face and holds the box out at arms length. "My daddy calls these 'Cancer Sticks' so he's always mad at mommy for using them, and they smell stinky too." Sora's face matched his friends, while Roxas just shook his head. Diving further into Cloud's pants they discover his wallet, empty of all important items. They also found a few weird gold packages which they all gave up on figuring out what they held. Lastly they discovered a mass colony of lint bunnies in his left back pocket which looked like they had been breading since before they were all born. Nothing considered the illusive treasure was found in this room, so they left the findings of Cloud's pockets on the floor. Well all but the lint bunnies Sora demanded they be returned to their magical city in the left back pocket of majestic wonder.(1)

They stood outside the last door Cloud and Leon's room, Riku went to open the door but the blonde twin spoke up. "Wiku we tan't go in tere mama or daddy not in tere." "Id's no adventsha wifh out a lil danga. Sides the bestist tesure is always in the masta bedroom. Buts if yous scared yous can wait here and tellz us ifs your daddy comes this way." Roxas shakes his head as the bedroom door opens. The party of three began to search all around the room. Roxas searched Leon's dresser as Riku took Cloud's, Sora searched under the bed and had quite a find. Out from under the bed he brings a small plastic bag. "Guys I tink I finded da tesure!" Sora squeals happily while the other two stop their destructive search to see what he had discovered.

Inside the bag was a small box about the size of Sora's hand. The boys all held their breath as the box was opened. Inside it was a charm bracelet with 4 charms already attached, one was of Cloud's buster sword, the next was to look like the first plushy Leon ever got from Cloud, the third a heart with their anniversary date in the center. The final was easily the largest and made to look just as his Griever pendent which the man never took off.

"Yeah now we has our tesure. We has to go bury it so no one know where it is but us." Riku said grinning while leading the boys back to the living room. Cloud was nowhere in site but a loud banging and low mumbles could be heard from the basement. The front door was unlocked so they got out of the house without their supervisor knowing at all. They walked down to the corner park and decided to play before hiding their treasure because there were too many people around.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Back at the house I was cursing loudly at the washer which was far to complex for me to quite understand. The ones we had on the base were very simple, you put the soap in here, you pushed the button, and that was it. But the one I was starring at had seven different settings, four temperature choices and three spe... _SHIT! I still had three children upstairs I was suposta be watching. I should be OK it's only what five? _I looked to the clock once I was into the kitchen, and it read seven. _Fuck I have one hour to find these kids._

I check the living room it was empty. So I figured they were playing in the kids' room. But as I entered the hall I noticed mine and Leon's door wide open. I began to panic. I rushed into the room hoping to find the boys crashed on the bed, but to avail. Though I did find something that made my eyes go green. (2) There on the floor laying open at my feet was the box that was supposed to be holding my anniversary present for my love. Those little brats must have it. I rushed back to the living room.

Once there I saw the front door slightly ajar. Oh gaud above they did not go outside did they? I grabbed my trusty buster sword then stepped outside, my eyes still covered by a ghostly green as I ran around the block at top speed. Of coarse as my luck shall have it I go the way which is away from the children. So as I round the corner where the park is I see the children going to bury something in the sand.

I stormed over there, "Roxas, Sora, and Riku what exactly are the three of you doing out here by yourselves?" They all look up at me their eyes welled in tears. "Hand that over now Sora." The frightened boy hands the bracelet over to him. "All of you back to the house. Now."

The boys hung their heads on the walk home. No one dared look up for fear of a blonde tyrant with hair of steel, and a sword bigger than them all. In my rage I failed to notice Fenrir sitting in the drive. Once the porch I glared to the trouble trio. "I never want to see or hear any of you doing anything like this ever again. Am I clear?" The frightened boys nodded feverishly. "Also don't tell any of this to Leon alright?" I added as an after thought while opening the door.

"Don't tell me what Strife?" _Speak of the devil and he shall appear_. (3) "Nothin Le don't worry about it." Roxas runs to his mother and grabs his arm. The other two children follow suit hiding behind the lithe mother figure in the room. Leon bends down and picks his glitching son up. "Roxy tell mommy what happened." He shakes his head no as tears prick the corner of his vision. "Did daddy threaten you?" The boy nods slightly."Well daddy isn't going to do anything. So tell me what happened." Leon said to the boy he was holding, who raddled off the entire day's events, his eyes fixed on me the entire time.

Xemnas came and got Riku who in turn got grounded for leading the treasure hunt to begin with. With the kids in bed Leon and I sat on the couch in the front room watching something mind numbing and pointless on T.V.

"Strife?"

"Yes, Leon?" Cloud said in a resigned manner, as if he already knew his fate.

"No sex for a week."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Author's Note: Well this was fun to write. I would love to thank my lovely friend Kai-Chan94 who forced me to write this chapter in one night. Please Read and Review. Any suggestions for new chapters will be looked at. Well here are the marked item's reasons.

(1) Sora's personality shines true with childhood innocence

(2) Mako effects on SOLDIER members even as a cadet they had mako injections (is trying hard to resist a Hojo is an ass rant)

(3) cliche line yes but oh so true for Cloud's Situation


End file.
